Life Update

Since I came back from Mexico, I have completely changed my direction in life. I thought before leaving that I would become a therapist, or enter a PhD program for history, but quickly discovered that neither of those things are viable options for me. I want to be financially independent, I never want to worry about my next paycheck or if I can afford rent from one month to the next. I want to leave the service industry for good. I want to be able to buy my friends nice gifts for their birthdays, and travel places, and support a family. All things that I cannot do working at a coffee shop, or applying to grad school programs that are extremely impacted and will result in no jobs.

All of that being said, I have applied to Sacramento State MSA program for a masters in accounting. I have been studying everyday for the GMAT, which is the business school entry exam. I applied for the spring semester, which would mean that if I get a score of 580 or above, I am in. This isn’t a job that I ever saw myself going into, but it is something that is interesting to me, and has a diverse job market. I could work in the US, I could work internationally, or I could work in a community college teaching. Regardless, I would have job security, and I would have less anxiety about what will happen to my paycheck.

I am moving back to Davis on September 1st, and have my job at Congregation Bet Haverim secured. I will be taking the CBEST which is the California Substitute teaching test in September, the GMAT in October, and hopefully starting an internship this fall as well. I am keeping myself extremely busy because I want to succeed, but also because I have found when I am bored or feel less guided, I make unhealthy choices both physically and mentally. In Mexico, I was surrounded by 9 incredible people who kept me on my toes. We laughed and cried together in the summer sun, but we were always together. I never felt bored when I was there. I always felt necessary, and without WiFi, I found myself really thinking about my life.

For the past 6 months, I was in survival mode. Trying to survive after Cuba, trying to cope with housemate bull shit, trying to make it through to graduation and summer classes. I was constantly trying to fly through to the finish line, and once I reached the finish line, the promised land of a vacation to Loreto, I felt hopeless. What next?

I have no money, I have a fantastic job that can only supply so many hours, and I have no job prospects with a degree in History. So I got home from my incredible vacation with my chosen family, and I looked realistically into grad school programs. Wouldn’t you know that Sacramento State offers an online program for their accounting program, so if I find myself moving to Colorado or San Diego or Sweden, I can take my class work with me and not fret? And they offer stellar financial aid packages, plus in state tuition is fairly affordable. Plus, no requirement of a business degree or minor. SCORE!

The test to get into business school is $250, and the practice book is $22, and the application fee is $55, but hell, small price to pay for security.

My trip taught me that I need to keep moving forward. I cannot stand idly by and feel sad that I didn’t choose a lucrative major in undergrad. The world waits for no one, and the key to success is moving forward.

In my favorite biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his family are saved by G-d, and as they are fleeing the destruction of evil, Lot’s wife looks back. She goes from a human being with hopes and dreams to a pillar of salt, flowing into the wind. Those who look back can never move forward. I do not want to be Lot’s wife, so I refuse to look back on the destruction of this year any longer, and instead, I will look to the future, which is incredibly bright and hopeful.

I guess this is something else I will tell my therapist.