Is it over?

How do you know when it’s over?

Does a relationship or friendship need a conclusion? A big ending? A final explosion?

I have realized that over the years, many of my friendships and relationships have just fizzled out. I can barely remember any that had dramatic endings, probably because I blocked them out, but maybe it’s also the fact that they didn’t have much meaning later in my life. I am only 22, but I feel like many of the friends that have stuck around over the years and have put in as much effort as I have are the people that I remember and will remember later.

I recently got frustrated with a friend who would constantly tell me how much they miss me, but would never make time for me when I tried to reach out. To an extent, I understand. We all live chaotic and demanding lives, we have goals, grades, and work that take up most of our time that would be free, but when you live in the same town and go to the same school, those excuses become lame.

Why is it ok to ignore my requests to see you, but suddenly you have hours to spend with a different friend to study? I came to the conclusion that if a friend is worth having in your life, you make time for them or at least try to reach out. Playing this bs game of “I miss you, but I am so busy” is downright rude.

One of my best friends has a part time job, long distance gf, and a side project that he wants to make his full time career, and he still carves out an hour for me to go to his house and sit with him while we listen to music or a podcast.

My best friend since age 2 has been studying for the MCAT since January. I understand that she is busy because this is a test that will determine her future, so I have purposefully been giving her space, but she still maintains a Snapchat streak with me.

My point is that friends who care about each other make time for each other and are there when others can't be. Friends don’t expect you to wait for them forever, they should at least check in.

I am not saying that I am no longer friends with people who get busy, but I am saying I put a lot less effort into people who clearly make others their priorities. I have stopped letting people treat me like a back-up plan.

This was just another thing I told my therapist.